(no subject)
Saturday, 15 July 2006 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keaaluJust a little addendum to earlier.
I'm a little miffed. I'm trying not to make this personal, because it's late at night and I'm hungry and tired and I always over-react in the evenings whether I'm hungry or tired or neither. What can I say, I'm a pressure cooker, my emotions cook away all day and I tend to say things I'd like to un-say the next morning if I get online at night. But anyway.
When people comment on my fiction, and show they pretty much don't have the first idea what anything is about, I get grouchy. I've sat here stewing in my grouchyness for a couple of hours now, and all I think I can say is that it's that sort of thing makes me want to just give up writing altogether. I have probably less than 20 people who see my ideas, so that's a pretty big percentage of my "readership", there.
I don't care if people don't read my fiction - well, all right, that's a lie, I do care, but not in a world-going-to-end way, more of a disheartened-I'm-a-crap-writer way. If I cared that world-endingly much, I'd promote it a bit more, but the fact of the matter is I don't have enough TIME to - I hold down a job that knackers me out every week, I haven't had a holiday since Christmas time, and I can barely muster the energy to jot down ideas most of the time. And I don't mind too much if people don't comment on here - like I said, I don't exactly feature on a lot of people's watch lists, and come on, it's only a freaking online journal watched by people I've never met and probably WILL never meet.
Just consider this. Although it might look like it, Dauntless is not just some silly little bit of random disconnected fiction I throw onto the web every now and then – it’s a product of sweat and tears and hours, days, months, YEARS of HARD WORK. I LABOUR over getting much of it JUST RIGHT – I research things fervently, I look up science and devour journals, I’ll seek out a hundred photographic image references for just one image even if they don’t show much on the final product. I want it to be as perfect as I can make it, I want it to be rounded and believable and something people might WANT to read.
So all I really care about is that those people who DO comment on my fiction take the time to at least know what they're commenting ON. I know I might not look like it, as it's hard for me to let my feelings out, but I appreciate each and every comment I get, even most negative or nitpicky ones, because they help me see potential flaws and to correct them.
No, I do not foresee a time when I will take my fiction off the internet and never update it again, because I'm not that sort of person - I don't like keeping secrets and I want people to be able to share in my creations. I'm too excited by things to keep it to myself - art thieves and what have you be damned. I just feel HURT sometimes, and this is one of those times. (I know no offence was meant by the comment, and sure, I'm over-reacting, because it's just a freaking internet diary, but meh.)
I've got incoherent. I'll shut up. Just... nobody take it personally. I'll probably apply for a retraction of statement by tomorrow, when everyone will have already read it.
...Correction, when Aegis, Steelwing and perhaps Trefinal will have read it, since they're pretty much the only people who ever do. Still.
I'm a little miffed. I'm trying not to make this personal, because it's late at night and I'm hungry and tired and I always over-react in the evenings whether I'm hungry or tired or neither. What can I say, I'm a pressure cooker, my emotions cook away all day and I tend to say things I'd like to un-say the next morning if I get online at night. But anyway.
When people comment on my fiction, and show they pretty much don't have the first idea what anything is about, I get grouchy. I've sat here stewing in my grouchyness for a couple of hours now, and all I think I can say is that it's that sort of thing makes me want to just give up writing altogether. I have probably less than 20 people who see my ideas, so that's a pretty big percentage of my "readership", there.
I don't care if people don't read my fiction - well, all right, that's a lie, I do care, but not in a world-going-to-end way, more of a disheartened-I'm-a-crap-writer way. If I cared that world-endingly much, I'd promote it a bit more, but the fact of the matter is I don't have enough TIME to - I hold down a job that knackers me out every week, I haven't had a holiday since Christmas time, and I can barely muster the energy to jot down ideas most of the time. And I don't mind too much if people don't comment on here - like I said, I don't exactly feature on a lot of people's watch lists, and come on, it's only a freaking online journal watched by people I've never met and probably WILL never meet.
Just consider this. Although it might look like it, Dauntless is not just some silly little bit of random disconnected fiction I throw onto the web every now and then – it’s a product of sweat and tears and hours, days, months, YEARS of HARD WORK. I LABOUR over getting much of it JUST RIGHT – I research things fervently, I look up science and devour journals, I’ll seek out a hundred photographic image references for just one image even if they don’t show much on the final product. I want it to be as perfect as I can make it, I want it to be rounded and believable and something people might WANT to read.
So all I really care about is that those people who DO comment on my fiction take the time to at least know what they're commenting ON. I know I might not look like it, as it's hard for me to let my feelings out, but I appreciate each and every comment I get, even most negative or nitpicky ones, because they help me see potential flaws and to correct them.
No, I do not foresee a time when I will take my fiction off the internet and never update it again, because I'm not that sort of person - I don't like keeping secrets and I want people to be able to share in my creations. I'm too excited by things to keep it to myself - art thieves and what have you be damned. I just feel HURT sometimes, and this is one of those times. (I know no offence was meant by the comment, and sure, I'm over-reacting, because it's just a freaking internet diary, but meh.)
I've got incoherent. I'll shut up. Just... nobody take it personally. I'll probably apply for a retraction of statement by tomorrow, when everyone will have already read it.
...Correction, when Aegis, Steelwing and perhaps Trefinal will have read it, since they're pretty much the only people who ever do. Still.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 01:18 am (UTC)But on the other side, I know how you feel. That sort of thing happens to me frequently as well, believe it or not. I'm going to work harder to stop assuming that your writing is biased in certain ways against me and I'll try harder to appreciate what you do. Again, I'm not sure where to start when I do read your story, though. I fear having my brain overflowed! :p
(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 05:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 01:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 05:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 06:59 am (UTC)Hm. I had an idea that you researched all this... but that much? Does catch me off guard a little (though it does explain your talent for detail). I have to be impressed with the amount of devotion you've given it, which also means I can understand why you'd be upset over the misappreaciation of your work. Though I'd be lying if I said I understood exactly how you felt.
I'd offer a hug, but I'm not the sort to do so unless they're asked for. So I'll just trust that you'll recover. Besides, all I'd really be offering is the concept and the text, and that only does so much, anyway...
I am now quite extremely curious to everything you've developed and just not gotten around to showing us yet....
But I imagine that will wait.
(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 05:27 pm (UTC)- oh, join the club. ;) You might have noticed an absence of them on my journal.
As to the stuff I've not posted yet - I have hundreds of thousands of words for at least 14 stories on my computer harddrive, I just have to "connect the dots", as it were. :P So that's some of it...
(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 01:27 pm (UTC)I suppose that's my own fault, since I never comment on any of the story bits/pics you post on here (cause I can never think of one). I will say this though: I admire your work and the blood/sweat/tears you put into it. You have come so much further then I have in the 5+ years (geez...has it been that long?) I've known you IMHO, so if you see drool spots on your work that's likely from me ;).
(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 05:24 pm (UTC)And thanks - you know I reciprocate in kind. ;) There's only so many times you can say "cool" or "that's a neat idea" without sounding like a cracked record, after all. You're not exactly lacking in the talent department either, you know, I just wish you'd post more with it. ;)
"(geez...has it been that long?)"
- that bad, huh? ;P
(no subject)
Date: 15 Jul 2006 06:35 pm (UTC)Yeah I know, been really lacking in the 'idea's' and 'motivation' part though lately, especially when I'm at home (oh they come flying in when I'm elsewhere, but when it comes down to actually 'doing' them...they depart so quick they leave a dust cloud: story snippits really love doing that...especially when I'm driving)