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[keaalu]

Dear world:
If your "recipe" reads: make up cake mix according to box, cook
...then it is NOT a recipe.

Either that, or the fact I can microwave "sweet and sour chicken and rice" must make me a masterchef.

Situation is: I want to make cakes for work, because a colleague is raising money for when she runs the London Marathon and people have been donating cakes to help out, and I WANT IN. Anyway.

One colleague said "Oh I just go 8884" (8 flour, 8 margarine, 8 sugar, 4 eggs) but I didn't get time to ask her for the rest of the details. So instead, I go looking for "cupcake recipes". Simple enough task, right? Google gives me a million and one results. Awesome!

...99.99999% shouldn't have the nerve to call themselves recipes, you know? It's not a "recipe" if your instructions are "make up cake batter mix as per packet, cook".

The other fraction of a percent are American, and want things like "buttermilk". Does that even still exist as a "thing" you can buy in the UK? (After Googling around a bit, I think they might have it in Sainsbury's. I'll poke my nose in on the way home from work tomorrow.)

(It's like when Jill posted her delicious-sounding cornbread, I had to run off to Google to work out what name we sold "cornmeal" under. Turns out it's "polenta".)

Comments

[garedeuropa.livejournal.com]

Easiest cake recipe I know: 4oz sugar, 4oz butter or marge, 4oz self-raising flour, 2 eggs. 20 minutes at 180 degrees celsius (that's fan-assisted; might need to be longer/hotter otherwise). If you want it chocolatey just add some cocoa powder. It's such a basic recipe it's pretty hard to mess up. It makes one big cake or several small cupcakes, or several sponge drops.

But yeah, most of my recipe books are American and the ingredients are weird.

[keaalu.livejournal.com]

...That cake recipe sounds so familiar. I'm sure we were taught it at school as "the only cake recipe you will ever need". So ashamed that I couldn't remember it. ;_;

Sponge drops sound brilliant. XD What do you do, just whack blobs onto a flat baking sheet?

(My modem ate this reply the last time I tried to post it. Let's see if it lets me post this time.)

[garedeuropa.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's exactly what sponge drops are. I don't know if they have a proper name; that's just what my mum calls them.

[sober-irish-guy.livejournal.com]

We have buttermilk in Ireland (American style pancakes? SO DAMN AWESOME!).

Re: online receipies: I was looking up what the heck analouise sauce was (it's a Belgian thing) and found a receipy that goolge helpfully translated:

"Step One: Clarify the eggs being careful to separate the seeds"
Oh Google... you will not take over the world with that level of translation.

8884, I would assume you don't work it together -too- much and just try to get the big lumps out.

Or try Madeira http://www.odlums.ie/index.php?page=madeira-sponge-cake
(actually... since Odlums sell flour, they might be a good receipy archive. No pre-mix worries)

[keaalu.livejournal.com]

Ommmm pancakes, you're making me hungry (again). XD

That is quite reassuring, though, I might stand half a chance of finding it in the little Sainsbury's down the road from me. I used to think it was "just some American thing" because I've never seen it used in recipes before. I'm assuming it'll be with the spreads or something?. *plots* Failing that, I read somewhere that half-and-half milk-and-yoghurt is a good approximation.

I have a vague recollection of needing to cream together the sugar and fat, then fold in the flour, then the eggs... or is it the other way around? I don't have an electric mixer and I sense it will take forever to get the lumps out if I don't. XD Madeira cake looks good, though, I might just try that if "8884" goes disastrously wrong. (Annnnd it probably will, I haven't done any baking in... about 15 years? At least since before Uni.)

Hahaaa, Google. XD That's some awesomely literal translation, there.

[sober-irish-guy.livejournal.com]

Ah, now I know where I heard of 8884. It's a quarter cake (4 quarter pounds of ingredients)

http://www.rte.ie/food/2008/0818/quartercake.html

...pretty damn simple. Well, if you have an electric mixer.

Also, buttermilk is usually the Yellow milk carton. With the rest of the milk.

[dragonheadthing.livejournal.com]

I am of no help here... I have just started making cookies myself out of the box.

[keaalu.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't think there's anything WRONG with using packet mix, it's just always "use [random packet mix you can only get from America] and add xyz to it".

That and... well it's not really a RECIPE if all you have to do is add an egg or a dollop of buttermilk. XD